If you were the wife, (You are now)…. and he never connected to you for 20 some years of a marriage, or participated in raising children, and virtually rarely if infrequently had a partner in life or the intimacy of a partner or talked (connected with you) and spent time….quality time….cared what you thought….or what you were thinking…or what you wanted to do…This man is a big absentee, called abandonment…..this wife finally wanted a life…cause she did not have one with this guy. She is the victim of his abusiveness in all areas. He is no victim, he married living single out there, and very detached from home life and wife. But don’t let anyone find out. Uses his job to legitimize his absences…but you can bet he has hit and run sex all along the way. Although no one would think that about him. He’s such a mystery, and no one in family looks up and questions. He was safe apparently the first marriage. They don’t like to get caught. They run for the hills when someone knows them better then they thought. Cause they take special care to not let that happen.

They say if it’s too good to be true usually it is. There is more than meets the eye. Do what you have to in order to stay attached to your own groundedness and common sense. Get counseling now. They are not necessarily as innocent as they portray themselves to appear. Remember there was a wife before you and this leopard has not changed his spots. Plus, they will always frame things so that the wife or the other person looks like the bad guy to everyone else in the family. They do everything to come out smelling like a rose. Like they are so nice, how could they be the one…and this male detached and abandoned as yours is from you right now. Question everything, see what you see and what you don’t . You are not crazy. Trust yourself. Build yourself up Hopefully before you have children. Use your common sense. Talk. Find mentors. Go to church. So you can save your own life while you still have your mind and turn blame on yourself. If you are not the problem you can’t fix it. Don’t turn in on yourself emotionally. It’s not about you! So don’t doubt yourself, even a little bit…the wife should have been questioning and getting louder all along. Once there are children a wife will do all to what……save the family……in this case….it seems like you have to save your own self first, in order to really save everybody else. I watched this same scenario in family lines for generations, it doesn’t change till the wife catches on and discovered waht she married. Think about it, pray about it.